The Leadership Work You’re Avoiding and Six Steps to Help You Take Action
By Dane Groenveld, CEO of LEAD3R and Host of The Future of Teamwork podcast
Facing what you’ve been avoiding might be the most important leadership move you make this quarter.
On this week’s episode of The Future of Teamwork, I had the chance to speak with Daniel Tocchini, and what stood out most was a metaphor about the cave, which represents the space we tend to avoid. As he put it, the things we avoid, such as hard conversations, delayed decisions, and unresolved tension, often quietly cost us more than we realize. The longer we avoid them, the more they shape our outcomes.
That cave you’re avoiding? It’s not just discomfort. It might be what stands between your team and alignment. Between your goals and momentum. Between a leader and the credibility they need.
Here’s how I think about going into the cave:
1. Name What You’re Avoiding
Sit down and make a list of the conversations, decisions, or dynamics you’ve been putting off. Ask yourself: “What have I quietly decided I don’t have time, energy, or appetite for?” That’s the mouth of the cave.
2. Get Clear on the Cost of Avoiding It
For each item, jot down what it’s costing you or your team to delay. It might be misalignment, missed opportunities, trust erosion, or simply the weight you’re carrying silently. Clarity starts when you quantify the cost of comfort.
3. Choose One Cave
Don’t try to fix everything at once. Choose one cave. Pick the conversation, decision, or piece of work that, if handled, would create the most forward motion.
4. Decide How You’ll Step In
Prepare yourself, but don’t over think it. Depending on what the situation calls for, consider bringing:
- A clear intention
- A willingness to be candid
- An openness to feedback and reflection
You’re not there to be right. You’re there to get unstuck.
5. Invite Accountability
Share your plan with someone else and pick a date to act by. Ask them to hold you accountable.
6. Reflect Honestly
After you’ve taken action, take 10 minutes to reflect. What surprised you? What opened up? What do you wish you’d done differently? You don’t get the learning unless you reflect.
We avoid the cave because we assume what’s inside will cost us more than what we’ve already lost by avoiding it. But most of the time, what’s actually in there is clarity, trust, and momentum.
If you’re navigating a high-stakes conversation or trying to help your team overcome misalignment, we can help.
Contact us to learn more about our leadership coaching and team facilitation services.
